i wonder what these trainees i found on flickr were promised? maybe after they’re shipped to afghanistan er, iraq, eh… iran, they get all the candy they can eat and combat boots that light up in the back?

sure looks like fun. clicky.

clip from the story:

Then came the pushback from the postmasters, who told Pearson and other lawmakers that “standard” mail, the post office’s name for junk mail, has become the lifeblood of the U.S. Postal Service and that jobs depend on it.

this is both a metaphor for why capitalism is broken AND proof that capitalism is breaking…now. clicky.

like most of the things i love, it inspires questions: why can’t shows look like that anymore? why can’t shows have that much quiet in them anymore? why do i love ed asner so much?

no really, why DO i love ed asner so much? it’s as if i have a “you love ed asner” implant in my brain. the love is real, but i don’t entirely believe it.

anyway, this is a screen capture of one of the reporters digging up information, following a lead to bust open a law enforcement scandal. this one shot contains at least six items from days gone by:

1. typewriter
2. ancient desktop terminal
3. awesomely ernestine head set
4. ye olde neck-crane assistant
5. bona fide rolly roladex
6. INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER!!

sigh. clicky.

Kroger said it has rolled out Disney’s Old Yeller dog food nationwide and is planning “an aggressive advertising and marketing campaign.” The dog food currently comes in a 50-pound bag, but other sizes will be available in June.

great! this will help boost the sales of my old yeller shot gun!

(thanks paul!) <via> clicky.

my two favorite parts:

One year ago, our enemies were succeeding in their efforts to plunge Iraq into chaos, so we reviewed our strategy and changed course.

We launched a surge of American forces into Iraq.

so, launch of american forces into iraq now = change.

and

“So tonight, with confidence in freedom’s power…”

i like this one because its meaninglessness begs to be continued on in marx brothers format. like this:

“so tonight, with confidence in freedom’s power, and power in freedom’s confidence…”

to keep from a total lapse into nihilism, i bring you this bit of fantastic from “the best little whorehouse in texas.” it’s a great satire on political ca-ca, but it also features charles durning….DANCING. it’s worth watching all the way through because durning makes a ton of great little acting choices.

(if you are one of those “why do 3 minute microwave burritos take so long?” type of people, at least watch from 4:16. that’s when the dancing AND prancing really build up. but believe me, those of us watching all the way through are getting so much more.)

and finally, now that the mood is slightly elevated, try some bona fide analysis. clicky.

taken at one of the ever-expanding malls in lynwood, wa. i had to pick someone up there and i got so dazed that when i saw this sign, i had to rub my eyes to make sure i was reading it correctly.

anybody want to come watch “they live” with me tonight?

although urban craft uprising was indeed the bestest fun happy times i’ve had in a long time, i woke up today feeling sad. someone snagged this little bunny man from my table on saturday and i feel like he’s out there somewhere.

i know theft is some times the cost of doing business, but my finger puppets are…alive…to me. i have a hard time even selling them because they really make me so happy. i understand why he’s desirable, but he’s part of my family and i want him back, no questions asked.

help me out, ok?

one of the only consolations to be found in the declining state of…everything…may be that while the world gets scarier and scarier, the onion gets funnier and funnier.