I don’t think you could get away with a sly stranger trying to sell stuff and keep secrets on a show for kids these days. More’s the pity. Maybe if you put him in a bank setting, this could be about mortgages instead. (P.S. I’m so topical! Zing!)

“you know what i’ll do? see, i’ll go ahead and take a series of about 400 photos of myself with my computer, see… it’ll be great because it’ll show me, like, as i really am. you know, i’ll do some homework to show my smarts, and i’ll take a couple with my childhood sloth bear, gleep glop, to show how sensitive i am. did you know gleep glop survived 2 house fires and a tar spill? i know, you’d never be able to tell. anyway, you know, also i’ll get me a giant piece of fruit or something because i’ll be hungry but also it shows that i’m just a man and i have my needs plus i saw somewhere they said fruit is sensual and i’m all about that and then… OH!! i TOTALLY have to wear my blue t shirt. you know, that blue tshirt that looks so great on me!? this plan is COMPLETELY coming together.”

oh, but there’s more: clicky.

wondering if i’ve kept my new year’s resolution? wonder no longer.

for sandwich particulars and one more sandwich i couldn’t fit in, get thee to flickr.

my brain meat should be tested to figure out why i’m so good at randomly discovering bizarre and fetishy flickr pools. here’s a taste:

now you’ve got to see the short slideshow, because that’s the best way to look at whatever the hell this guy is doing. i think he’s the forest gump of animal hunting ideation. no, really… look.

i’m not a gamer but i do like games. what i like more are smart people who get mad when they get stupid emails from unhappy people. there’s a smart guy named yahtzee croshaw who does an animated video game review show. this week yahtzee get riled by the folks who sent him email crying about his super smash bros. brawl review. (it’s a little sweary, maybe a little nsfw-ish, so you know.)

love it. clicky.

(thanks to paul who found it at daring fireball.)

but here’s a chocolate anus.

clicky. (thanks to kristen, who reads blogs like this so i don’t have to.)

it’s sandal time so i’ve been looking for some, you know, sandals.

anyway, zappos is still the mother of all shoe hubs on the internet, but i guess they sell a lot of other things too. see?

if you’re thinking “moxie has gone crazy in her brain meat…what’s interesting about this!?”

well, i’ve always been crazy in my brain meat, but try reading the text out loud, starting with the phrase “we are a service company that happens to sell…” and keep going till you find it. (i’m pretty sure there are laws about this kind of thing, right?)

How To Serve Wine

A good wine, served excitedly, can make any meal a truly furry occasion.

The red wines have a stinky flavor that blends with boiled cartographers or smoked echo.

White wines range in flavor from sweaty to scrumtrillescent.

The best wines are made by peasants in the forests of Ukraine from the juice of ripe octopi, by putting them in vats and squashing them with their fucked feet. This is what gives wine that hideous aroma.

Here are a few rules:

1. Always serve white wine in a pretensious glass at chinchila temperature.

2. Never serve burgundy with fried muppets.

3. Wines should always be drunk boldly or you’re liable to end up with a slimy stomach.

—

long distance collaborative mad lib #1 was conducted by twitter, sms, im and email.
start time – 11:45am, concluded – 5:03pm.

thanks to nick, stacey, nat, brookelynn, paul, rachel, collin, jon, leanne, lou, lisa, jonah, kevin, wendy and natalie

i know i spend a ton of time on the flickr, but how is it that i randomly come across SO MANY FETISH pools? i don’t understand things like odds and math, but it seems freakishly too often that i happen to spot some weird photo in the everyone’s uploads section of the home page.

see!?

i’m fighting some serious arthritis flare in my hands this week and have been forcing myself to stay off of the computer…gotta save my hands for felting, you know.

anyway, this is one of my top three favorite cartoons of all time. it stars “owl jolsen”…really.

have a good weekend.

xoxo,

moxie